floozys:

a thrilling story of hope, heartache and success 



illest:

Make A Wish Foundation: What do you wish for?

Me: I wish a nigga would



idcau:

if you stare at me in public my self esteem will drop 100%







Anonymous:
So when was the last time you sucked a dick, faggot?

thatmadfangirllassie:

1-900fuckrightoff-deactivated20:

When was the last time that your dad said he was ‘working late’?

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dampsandwich:

mom i dont wanna go to school i dont feel good



texasenchantment:

The fact that I’m legally an adult is hysterical



iguanamouth:

iguanamouth:

remember that first live action scooby doo movie. where the antagonist was literally scrappy doo and he was stealing peoples souls, like actually really stealing and absorbing souls, and was planning on taking scoobys soul to rule the world with an army of demons and get revenge on the gang after they abandoned him because he kept peeing in the car, and near the end he turned into this huge dog monster

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a real movie

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shit. shit



soclair:

im just so glad the word “ugh” was invented



humorstop:

sick body kits



spikespiegell:

do ya ever bring your pet up to a mirror and ur like “that you”



zagreus-taking-time-apart:

*gets gay married during the purge*



draqonight:

"don’t complain, I have it worse than you"

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crayonster:

timeturner:

bex-chan:

you know you’re getting old when you watch the little mermaid and when ariel says “i’m 16 years old. i’m not a child anymore.” and you’re just sat there like yes you fucking are young lady stop it

The day you start agreeing with the parents in kids movies is the day it’s all over.