simplypurkey:

jazzumon:

destielkills:

auntiesnixshipper:

awkwardteenagenerves:

discard-and-discover:

evolve-within:

disregardwomen:

When my mom’s out in public, she sends me pictures of lesbians she sees.

Jesus I envy that relationship. 

this is like the time when my mum took me bra shopping and the girl measuring me up was a lesbian and my mum said to me “i’ll go take a walk around the shop so you can talk to this nice young girl” and gave me a look as if to say “chat her up”. 

My mum tries to push me towards cute possibly gay girls and then disappears. She did it in Primark once and I found her hiding behind a pile of knickers, watching me.

i love all of your moms

When I was 17 I was convinced I was in love with the check out girl at the grocery store 5 minutes away from our house, so my dad went to get milk and somehow found an appropriate point in the conversation while buying a half gallon of milk to give her my number. Three days later she called me and asked if I wanted to come over “to watch a movie” and long story short my dad got me laid thanks dad.

That last story is worth reblogging



fasterfood:

when u hold the door open for someone and they dont say thank you

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stand-by-me:

Someone let me know when they find my jaw on the ground



kimplz:

PROPHET LIKE IT’S HOT



elusivemulatto:

tell a grown ass man “no” n watch him revert to age 5 behavior



pink-vulva:

once i take my bra off, don’t ask me to do shit for u bitch bc once that bra comes off, i am clocked out of life. i am done. i am finished. i am logged the fuck out. 



radsturbate:

how the soft grinch☯ stole christmas



Anonymous:
OMG you are SO cute!

You don’t even know what I look like



posted 1 week ago with 0 notes - reblog

Reblog if your penis is on fire right now like actually in flames





This will always be my favourite.





yviees:

I need 6 months vacation, twice a year



teamcocket:

the entire movie in 3 pictures



kindofsharethat:

waiting for the tumblr video player to load

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