kurgs:

skeletongrazed:

skeletongrazed:

what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails


distraction:

manysidesofmyself:

excusemybrain:

Best response to the “are you on your period?” question goes to Leonardo DiCaprio

and still no Oscar

Sigh



myheart137:

capt9rs:

chepibola:

rnozzarellasticks:

memeluvr2:

my algebra teacher is pregnant and asked my class for baby names and she called on me and i panicked and said luigi

I WAS ON MY PHONE IN ART AND I READ THIS AND LAUGHED OUT LOUD AND A KID NEXT TO ME WAS LIKE “WHO ARE YOU TEXTING” AND I PANICKED AND SAID “LUIGI”

GUYS THIS SHOULD BE A THING. EVERYTIME SOMEONE ASKS YOU SOMETHING AND YOU PANIC JUST SAY LUIGI

luigi! at the disco

i’ve reblogged 3 variations of this already



dear internet

captain-raptor:

giant barks and teeny mews

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

that is all





christareiss:

so you wanna be a master



soselfimportant:

4:35 Blaze it sorry traffic was crazy



Anonymous:
what drugs have you done

h0odrich:

nice try mom



spockisinthetardis:

apocentric:

BLESS



tardistiles:

sp00kyqueer:

sp00kyqueer:

Something I realised, after having to help many international tourists count out their change, is that American coins don’t actually have the number value on them??? Like no wonder all these poor tourists are so confused

like

image

it just fucking says one “dime”

what the fuck is a dime

how much is it worth

whose idea was this

oh my god i never even realized that what the hell we all just sort of know what they’re worth through some sixth sense bullshit



mcsnuggie:

at this point my blood is probably 4.3% pasta sauce



talom:

this is so beautiful



congragulation:

so this guy who suffers from premature ejaculation comes out of nowhere



thundercrumbs:

obesealpaca:

do you think he knows

DOCTOR FISHER GET OFF THAT MANS FACE YOU’RE A SCIENTIST NOW ACT LIKE ONE