i can’t have a soul mate because i have no soul

(Source: partybarackisinthehousetonight, via top-funny-stuff)

leftforbed:

leftforbed:

mcsnuggie:

true self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn

why would the movie eat my popcorn

nevermind i get it

(via swagonoffon)

varsijia:

“how to get annoyed at absolutely nothing” a book written by me

(Source: syardis, via c0mm0n-kings)

cowboybeboop:

viste:

cowboybeboop:

reblog if u were on tumblr before yahoo bought it 

IT’S LITERALLY BEEN LIKE A DAY AND WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TRYING TO ACHIEVE WITH THIS POST

only a true tumblrite would understand. you just outed yourself as a yahooligan

(via heyfunniest)

foolishcaptainkia:

gothamshitty:

kushdrinker:

sweet dreams are made of cheese

who am I to diss a brie

I cheddar the world and the feta cheese

(via shattered--hopes)

ejacutastic:

i have childhood memories that i am not 100% sure actually happened or if i dreamed them i really do not know

(via katiedollthesillyhead)

sweeneytad:

*dentist slaughters family in front of you*

they’re bleeding because you don’t floss

(via long-romantic-walk-to-the-fridge)

niggaimdeadass:

i leave crumbs in the butter because i hate my family 

(via katiedollthesillyhead)

jiggalopuff:

wow leonardo da vinci was amazing in the great gatsby

(via long-romantic-walk-to-the-fridge)

babyferaligator:

to write pussy pussy pussy marijuana on her arms

(via long-romantic-walk-to-the-fridge)

krvsty:

yeah boyfriends are pretty cool but have u ever heard of chocolate fountains

(via yuckier)

pizzaforpresident:

jaclcfrost:

avatargrimes:

jaclcfrost:

chiptunehero:

jaclcfrost:

no one ever talks about peter pan’s brother

peter pot

peter pot
the only boy who was higher than peter pan

and this is probably why no one talks about him

peter pot is so high, he neverlands.

and it’s definitely not because of any faith or trust or pixie dust

why would peter pan’s brother have the same first name and a different surname

(via yuckier)

thespookiesttaco:

i would do my homework but

sadly i am only an eel

(Source: thehottesttaco, via nippled)